No One's Loved Me Yet
by Shaye1106
Summary: Love is messy and can sometimes hurt but it is also filled with more joy than anything else in life. We never saw Jackson give April her engagement ring so how did it happen? A romantic evening for two and an important question to ask... Japril fluff!


_**No One's Loved Me Yet**_

People say that in life we damage ourselves and we damage others. We say that we would go back and change our decisions, change our paths, stop ourselves from hurting others or being hurt ourselves. But what they don't mention, what we fail to realize, is that we also save lives. A doctor performs an appendectomy and suddenly the pain goes away. A teacher shares the value of education and students grow up to get jobs. Parents care for their child and the baby develops into a functioning adult. We all say that things could have gone better or that we would have done things differently but is that really true? It is in one moment that everything changes; it is in one moment that the entire world is altered. And yet we can never get that moment back. So instead of changing the past, why don't we change the future? Agree to love more and hate less, kiss more and fight less, hug more and cry less because there is nothing worse in life than being alone and feeling unloved.

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><p>"I just don't understand why you can't tell me where we're going. I mean it's not-" This is exactly what he had been waiting for. A speechless April, a stunned April, a can't-even-form-words April. "Jackson," April began, opening and closing her mouth as tears threatened to fall from her eyes, "What is all this?"<p>

Right in front of her, on the side of the highway where their "fifteen minute engagement," as Catherine called it, took place, was a picture even her dreams couldn't compete with. No wonder they took this road, towards the forest and away from the world, tonight. It was secluded and romantic and significant to _them_. "We never did have a proper engagement. Or proposal. Or date. Or…" Jackson paused, looking down at his beautiful wife, "We never really had any of our firsts." He gave her his rare, award-winning smile as he wiped away the few tears that escaped her large hazel eyes.

"Well I can think of a first," April smirked, laughing when she saw Jackson roll his eyes. "You really didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to. Me and you, right?"

"Me and you," she confirmed, once again staring in awe at the scene before her. Jackson then took her hand, leading her over to the rustically elegant square table, complete with a lightly patterned beige runner. "Wildflowers?" April pointed the the various glass jars scattered perfectly along the runner, each filled with a different bouquet of vibrant flowers. "And mints!" She giggled, running her finger over the metal tin in reverence.

"I told you, I'm in…all in." Jackson knew it was cheesy but he couldn't help it; she deserved everything she ever hoped for in a wedding. And he was hell bent on rolling out the ritz for her.

"What is all of this?" April repeated her original question only to receive a small grin in response.

"Why don't we eat first," Jackson suggested, laying his open left palm across the table for April's hand to join. And while at first April felt like pushing further, she ultimately decided to gently clasp Jackson's hand and pick up her fork.

"This is delicious!"

"It's the sauce; I don't know how they make it but it really makes the dish." The two exchanged small talk- anything from the hospital to the bedroom- while eating their five-star ravioli entree. "Speaking of the bedroom…" April blushed, her cheeks beginning to match the color of her layered, red lace dress. No matter how many times she took control in the bedroom she was still a blushing virgin at heart. "As much as I love that dress I can't wait to get you out of it."

"And I thought this was going to be a romantic evening with my husband."

"Well, maybe your husband's hoping to get lucky tonight."

"Get lucky? Classy Avery," she smirked, pausing for a second. "Then I guess you'll like what's under it even more." Looking straight into his eyes April saw his mouth go dry as he was seemingly at a loss for words.

"Looks like someone planned ahead," he answered, finding his footing after her unexpected comeback.

"I like to be prepared," she quipped as she sipped her champagne. "Although, I usually like to know what I'm putting out for." Now it was Jackson's turn to laugh.

"Is the dinner not enough?"

"Oh it's more than enough but I get the feeling you're holding out on me." Taking a deep breath, Jackson readied himself for the main event. He had gone through his speech a million times and still, looking at her, he felt at a loss. How could words describe what he felt every time he saw her smile and how he was pained every time she cried? How could words express the way his heart beat in his chest when he thought of her and how it raced in anxiety when she wasn't beside him? How could he describe the indescribable? Describe the most incredible, soulful, mending _love_ he held for the woman sitting before him?

Getting down on one knee with a small velvet box in his shaking hands, he began. "I know I told you that I love you, that I've always loved you. But I don't think you understand just how much…I remember, back when we lived at Mer's house, you waking up from a nightmare. You were screaming that you weren't finished yet, that no one's loved you yet. I woke you up and you fell asleep in my arms, still crying. It was the first time we ever shared a bed. Do you remember that?" April merely nodded as her hand remained clamped over her lipstick clad mouth. "I think I knew I loved you then. Maybe not romantically; no, that came later, but I loved you as more than a friend- you were, you are, my family. I don't think I realized that I loved you as more than that until I missed you at Joe's and you took that flight home to Moline. And even then, I didn't realize how much I wanted and needed you until I saw you about to marry another man." He took a steadying breath and gently kissed away the tears streaming down his wife's rosy cheeks. "When I said that I've always loved you, I meant it. Don't ever doubt that. But I don't want that to be the end. I want to love you every day for the rest of our lives. So will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. April Avery?"

April let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. "How about Kepner-Avery?"

"Just April Avery to me."

"I can live with that," April smiled, standing up and leaning in to kiss her husband. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her up and spun her around, kissing all over her face. Her closed eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, and finally her lips. Lips that melded together and stayed fused until Jackson broke away for air.

"You're the one. You. _Always _you."

"I love you," she whispered, nuzzling her nose against his. Maybe their relationship was messy and didn't always make sense. Maybe they hurt people in the process as well. But it was their little piece of heaven, fairy-tales, and happily-ever-afters. It was, most simply put, a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love.

**_I had wanted to see Jackson give April the engagement ring and since we never did, I figured I would write the missing scene. I hope you liked it! Please review :) Each and every one makes my day. Thanks for reading!_**


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